I've been plugging along recently, trying to keep my outings to about 3 miles total. Overall, I've been feeling pretty good, but I've noticed a nagging problem with my right foot. I think my gait is busted. At the end of a run I felt a pain near the base of my big toe, coupled with the signature white bubble of a forming blister. Not good. Blister? What? I'm wearing Veebs! I'm invincible in Veebs! Apparently not. Very disappointing. I'm not giving up on the Veebs though. I feel like retreating back to a pair of running shoes will undermine all the progress I've made in technique. The only shoe I would go back to would be a minimalist sneaker, but laying down some moolah right now doesn't appeal to me. So I shall stick with my KSOs.
Additionally frustrating is I've noticed that my ankle is just not giving me the range of motion I used to have. Hopefully this will continue to improve with time and when the screws break, which I've been told is what they are supposed to do. Believe me, I asked my surgeon about this. If I was going to feel my ankle pop, or do something crazy, I wanted to know what to expect. Keeping up a running regimen is going to prove difficult. I'm taking on more FedEx work this summer, which either leaves me completely tapped out at the end of a day, or I'm out so late that it gets dark. We shall see!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Top Ten Ways to Show Love to Your Delivery Person
As you may know if you saw the post "Tales from the Road", I work for FedEx delivering packages. You might think, wow, that's a really easy job just driving around and dropping packages. But sadly, it's not. It really should be, but it's not. I blame you.
Let me be more specific. Chances are, because you are reading this, you have access to a computer with internet, most likely at home of some sort, be it a house, or apartment. This home has an address. This address helps me find you. Seems simple right? I need to find you so you can get your stuff. Let me ask you this - if you were me, could you find you?
If you want to get your stuff, you need to help your delivery person. Here are the Top Ten things to keep in mind...
#1 - NUMBERS. I can't emphasize this enough. PLEASE put up numbers. On your house, mailbox, garage, whatever. Wait, it's not enough to just put up the number, you need consideration for visibility and contrast. Black number on dark mailbox, putting a hanging plant right in front of your number, or faded numbers are no good (I have seen all of these). If you look outside and your mailbox has white squares on it, your numbers are FADED. They need to be replaced. All the squares should have numbers, not 3 out of 4 or any other such combination. Also, just because your neighbor was kind enough to put up a number the size of Texas, that doesn't mean you are off the hook.
Look, I know you spent a lot of money on that solid block of stone in front of your house with your street name and number engraved on it, but I'm at the end of your mile-long driveway. And I can't SEE it. I'm parked next to the mailbox with nothing on it and the last time I saw a house was a half mile back so I can't even do the math on what your number might be. Chances are, I'm going to keep driving.
#2 - YOUR DOG. Many dogs just get excited to see me and thus, they bark. I get it. Most of the time, this is the case. However, there are some dogs who are assholes. And let's be real people, you know when your dog is an asshole. If he's an asshole to you (and you are the one who provides the food) then chances are the dog is going to be an asshole to a total stranger (moi). Many of you have the courtesy to keep your dog indoors so I don't have to worry about losing a foot. Others of you are in denial, and you just let the dog run around all day. Here's what your dog does while you are away - it gets in front of the truck to block me, runs up to my door to block me, and, most importantly, gets in front of me while I'm struggling to get your heavy-ass package to your door. For the grand finale, sometimes your dog will finally get the courage to take a nip at me when my back is turned. You need to handle it. I blame the parents.
#3 - CAR PARTS. The parts belong IN the car. It's really great that you can fix and tinker with cars. But that should be a weekend project in which the parts go back into the car. Having them strewn across the driveway and lawn is really gonna screw up my day. I can tell they've been there awhile, so don't give me that look. They are rusted and the Earth is trying to reclaim them. I should be able to walk to your house and deposit a package without being concerned about tripping on an axle and impaling myself on a jack. Keep in mind, I might be carrying that new 8-ball shifter for your sick ride, so you're gonna want me to keep taking air.
#4 - TURN AROUND ETIQUETTE. Many Vermonters live in rural areas, so it's handy to have a little something we call the "turn around". It's pretty self-explanatory - your skinny, long driveway leads to your house in which the person is then able to "turn around" and head back. But here's the thing - I can't turn my 15-foot truck around if you have cars/trucks/boats/RVs/your kid's bike parked in the turn around. Backing up a quarter of a mile, in winter, in your crappy plowed driveway, is a recipe for me to get stuck. If I get stuck, it kills a whole bunch of time for me. And I will remember you. I may or may not be expedient with your package in the future.
#5 - NO MORE QUESTIONS. All I know is, I'm carrying a box. It tells me info like where it came from, where it's going, and sometimes tells me what's inside. But if the box is brown and cardboard, I don't know what's inside. I didn't open it on the way over. I have NO idea what it is. YOU ordered it. Or hell, just enjoy the surprise!
#6 - SIGNATURES. (Applicable mainly to business deliveries). If you see me standing there, with a scanner thingy and following you around like a lost puppy, then I need a signature before I can leave. I don't make the rules, and honestly, I might be 26 stops into an 84-stop day so getting out of your store is top on my priority list. Keep this in mind when you are standing there giving an entire sales interaction to a customer while I wait. Hovering.
#7 - EMPATHY IN THE DARKNESS. Just for fun, drive off somewhere, wait until it's dark out, and then pretend you don't know how to find your house. Drive down your street, looking at numbers - if you can (See #1 if you are having difficulty). How did you do? Can you find your number? Do you HAVE numbers? You've just walked in my shoes.
#8 - THERE IS SUCH A THING AS TOO MUCH GRAVEL. Sure, paving is expensive. Gravel is an acceptable option for all driveways ranging from the rural to the lifestyles of the rich and famous. But really, you don't need that much. My truck is heavy, and if you have too much gravel, it's like driving through snow. I kid you not. My tires spin, I can't go faster than 2 miles an hour, and it's a big time killer.
#9 - SOMETIMES I DRIVE A RENTAL. GET OVER IT. I might show up at your door in a rental truck or van. No, my truck didn't break down. No, the company isn't under seriously financial peril and we are forced to drive unmarked rental vehicles driven by slave delivery minions. I'm likely filling in for a contractor who gets to keep his truck while I drive the route for him. So for the love of God, if you are coming home and you see me in the driveway trying to back out, please don't box me in like you just caught me trying to jack your stuff. Do you really think I went out and rented a truck just to drive to your house in the middle of the day and start taking stuff?? Also, if you're having an outdoor party, it's a bit rude to just stop and stare at me. Amusing, but awkward.
#10 - DON'T ORDER IT IF YOU CAN'T LIFT IT. If you are home, and you see me backing into your driveway, I LOVE it when you come out and get the package from me. If the package is small enough to pass through my window into your waiting hands (and I didn't have to get out of the truck) that is like Christmas for me. However, if you wander out only to watch me struggle with your 50-pound box of swimming pool tablets, then walk WITH me to your door, that just tweaks me. If you come out, you should take the box from me rather than just give me that "Wow, that box looks heavy and I have a bad back"-look on your face. And no, I'm not going to take that queen size bed frame all the way into your house and set it up either, so put away the longing puppy dog eyes. I would also like to add a shout-out to the Ladies - you really need to tell your husband about the shit you buy. It sucks to stand there holding out my scanner and requesting a signature from a man with a blank look on his face saying "I'm not expecting anything, what have we here?" like I'm trying to scam him into joining the Jehovah's Witnesses.
So there you have it. Little things that will make my life so much easier. If you've got love for your delivery person, your precious goodies get to your door, and everyone is happy. Oh, and if you see me put a package at your door and run away, don't worry, it won't explode. That's just me working in some "interval training".
Let me be more specific. Chances are, because you are reading this, you have access to a computer with internet, most likely at home of some sort, be it a house, or apartment. This home has an address. This address helps me find you. Seems simple right? I need to find you so you can get your stuff. Let me ask you this - if you were me, could you find you?
If you want to get your stuff, you need to help your delivery person. Here are the Top Ten things to keep in mind...
#1 - NUMBERS. I can't emphasize this enough. PLEASE put up numbers. On your house, mailbox, garage, whatever. Wait, it's not enough to just put up the number, you need consideration for visibility and contrast. Black number on dark mailbox, putting a hanging plant right in front of your number, or faded numbers are no good (I have seen all of these). If you look outside and your mailbox has white squares on it, your numbers are FADED. They need to be replaced. All the squares should have numbers, not 3 out of 4 or any other such combination. Also, just because your neighbor was kind enough to put up a number the size of Texas, that doesn't mean you are off the hook.
Look, I know you spent a lot of money on that solid block of stone in front of your house with your street name and number engraved on it, but I'm at the end of your mile-long driveway. And I can't SEE it. I'm parked next to the mailbox with nothing on it and the last time I saw a house was a half mile back so I can't even do the math on what your number might be. Chances are, I'm going to keep driving.
#2 - YOUR DOG. Many dogs just get excited to see me and thus, they bark. I get it. Most of the time, this is the case. However, there are some dogs who are assholes. And let's be real people, you know when your dog is an asshole. If he's an asshole to you (and you are the one who provides the food) then chances are the dog is going to be an asshole to a total stranger (moi). Many of you have the courtesy to keep your dog indoors so I don't have to worry about losing a foot. Others of you are in denial, and you just let the dog run around all day. Here's what your dog does while you are away - it gets in front of the truck to block me, runs up to my door to block me, and, most importantly, gets in front of me while I'm struggling to get your heavy-ass package to your door. For the grand finale, sometimes your dog will finally get the courage to take a nip at me when my back is turned. You need to handle it. I blame the parents.
#3 - CAR PARTS. The parts belong IN the car. It's really great that you can fix and tinker with cars. But that should be a weekend project in which the parts go back into the car. Having them strewn across the driveway and lawn is really gonna screw up my day. I can tell they've been there awhile, so don't give me that look. They are rusted and the Earth is trying to reclaim them. I should be able to walk to your house and deposit a package without being concerned about tripping on an axle and impaling myself on a jack. Keep in mind, I might be carrying that new 8-ball shifter for your sick ride, so you're gonna want me to keep taking air.
#4 - TURN AROUND ETIQUETTE. Many Vermonters live in rural areas, so it's handy to have a little something we call the "turn around". It's pretty self-explanatory - your skinny, long driveway leads to your house in which the person is then able to "turn around" and head back. But here's the thing - I can't turn my 15-foot truck around if you have cars/trucks/boats/RVs/your kid's bike parked in the turn around. Backing up a quarter of a mile, in winter, in your crappy plowed driveway, is a recipe for me to get stuck. If I get stuck, it kills a whole bunch of time for me. And I will remember you. I may or may not be expedient with your package in the future.
#5 - NO MORE QUESTIONS. All I know is, I'm carrying a box. It tells me info like where it came from, where it's going, and sometimes tells me what's inside. But if the box is brown and cardboard, I don't know what's inside. I didn't open it on the way over. I have NO idea what it is. YOU ordered it. Or hell, just enjoy the surprise!
#6 - SIGNATURES. (Applicable mainly to business deliveries). If you see me standing there, with a scanner thingy and following you around like a lost puppy, then I need a signature before I can leave. I don't make the rules, and honestly, I might be 26 stops into an 84-stop day so getting out of your store is top on my priority list. Keep this in mind when you are standing there giving an entire sales interaction to a customer while I wait. Hovering.
#7 - EMPATHY IN THE DARKNESS. Just for fun, drive off somewhere, wait until it's dark out, and then pretend you don't know how to find your house. Drive down your street, looking at numbers - if you can (See #1 if you are having difficulty). How did you do? Can you find your number? Do you HAVE numbers? You've just walked in my shoes.
#8 - THERE IS SUCH A THING AS TOO MUCH GRAVEL. Sure, paving is expensive. Gravel is an acceptable option for all driveways ranging from the rural to the lifestyles of the rich and famous. But really, you don't need that much. My truck is heavy, and if you have too much gravel, it's like driving through snow. I kid you not. My tires spin, I can't go faster than 2 miles an hour, and it's a big time killer.
#9 - SOMETIMES I DRIVE A RENTAL. GET OVER IT. I might show up at your door in a rental truck or van. No, my truck didn't break down. No, the company isn't under seriously financial peril and we are forced to drive unmarked rental vehicles driven by slave delivery minions. I'm likely filling in for a contractor who gets to keep his truck while I drive the route for him. So for the love of God, if you are coming home and you see me in the driveway trying to back out, please don't box me in like you just caught me trying to jack your stuff. Do you really think I went out and rented a truck just to drive to your house in the middle of the day and start taking stuff?? Also, if you're having an outdoor party, it's a bit rude to just stop and stare at me. Amusing, but awkward.
#10 - DON'T ORDER IT IF YOU CAN'T LIFT IT. If you are home, and you see me backing into your driveway, I LOVE it when you come out and get the package from me. If the package is small enough to pass through my window into your waiting hands (and I didn't have to get out of the truck) that is like Christmas for me. However, if you wander out only to watch me struggle with your 50-pound box of swimming pool tablets, then walk WITH me to your door, that just tweaks me. If you come out, you should take the box from me rather than just give me that "Wow, that box looks heavy and I have a bad back"-look on your face. And no, I'm not going to take that queen size bed frame all the way into your house and set it up either, so put away the longing puppy dog eyes. I would also like to add a shout-out to the Ladies - you really need to tell your husband about the shit you buy. It sucks to stand there holding out my scanner and requesting a signature from a man with a blank look on his face saying "I'm not expecting anything, what have we here?" like I'm trying to scam him into joining the Jehovah's Witnesses.
So there you have it. Little things that will make my life so much easier. If you've got love for your delivery person, your precious goodies get to your door, and everyone is happy. Oh, and if you see me put a package at your door and run away, don't worry, it won't explode. That's just me working in some "interval training".
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